People who commit suicide are NOT always WEAK SELFISH people like many like to say. And Unless you have been down this deep dark path you could NEVER really truly understand.

It can become unbearable the Depression, Anguish, Pain, Anger, self loathing, and Desperation one feels while in this state of mind. To decide to take your own life is not something one comes upon casually. As Ive talked about before I contemplated suicide A LOT as a teenager. I felt as if no one would care if I was gone, Everyone would be happier, and I couldn’t handle the weight of the pain and hurt I’d been caring around for years.

I also talked about that my Father actually went through with it and put a bullet through his head.

Not until this did I personally realize that no matter how much I’m hurting and how alone I felt that there were people that CARED about me and LOVED me and would miss me if i were gone.

And yet my family has been hit with yet another suicide.

What is it that makes someone think “I’m gunna kill myslef” verse “let me fix my life” or “can I start over”.


The Enemy will come to steal, kill and destroy.

John 10:9-10

I am the gate; whoever enters through me will be saved.[a] They will come in and go out, and find pasture. 10 The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.


We HAVE TO be stronger in our faith in GOD. In todays society we have learned to try and hold on to and control everything in our lives when in reality we are NOT the ones in control and the sooner we realize that the better!

We carry the burdens of our families sins 3 and 4 generations out.

Numbers 14:18

18 ‘The Lord is slow to anger, abounding in love and forgiving sin and rebellion. Yet he does not leave the guilty unpunished; he punishes the children for the sin of the parents to the third and fourth generation.’

We know this to be true from a physiological stand point as well. “THE CYCLE” whether it be domestic violence, Alcoholism, Drug addictions etc etc. My parents both came from and witnessed abuse growing up. They met and were EXTREMELY abusive towards each other. I in turn grew up and started dating men that abused me.  BREAK THE CYCLE by putting your life in GODs hands.  You have to STAND STRONG. It wasn’t easy I had to re wire myself per say and learn to listen to my, “instincts”, the holy spirit within me that i had smashed down so much through the years i could barely hear him anymore…

We HAVE to ask for forgiveness and MEAN it!

We ALL have the FREEDOM to choose. To Choose our own paths, make our own decisions, decide good or evil. FORGIVE or Hate. LOVE or Ignore. It is OUR CHOICE to continue along down our parents or grandparents paths or to choose a completely different life for ourselves. YOU can break the cycle. You can step on the ENEMYS head and banish him. He will continue to attack you, you WILL go through storms, you WILL ask WHY,  but if you are with God you will win you will PRESERVER and you WILL be BLESSED!


 I CHOOSE GOD, I CHOSE to BREAK the CYCLES day in and day out!


4 thoughts on “Unspoken

    • Sharing our true selves with others of faith, family, and friends instead of hiding behind a facade creates an environment where we can all be of service to others, whether through our message of struggle/success or through our love & encouragement for others’ struggles/success. Thank you for your bold honesty.
      1 Thessalonians 5:1-11

      Liked by 1 person

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